we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize