She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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