3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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