tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
