I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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