U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize