i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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