Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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