we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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