he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
