He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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