I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
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Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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