Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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