is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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