i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
