I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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