i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
