I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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