My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
