I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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