Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize