saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
