you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
