um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
