I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
