mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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