she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
