you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize