remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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