I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize