I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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