Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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