You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why did my mother make you get naked?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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