You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm bleeding and have questions
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
