I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
