That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
