I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize