What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
