I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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