just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
