Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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