He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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