i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
