So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I miss vodka workout Fridays
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
This is the high leading the old right now
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
