i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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