We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
