He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
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Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
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we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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