I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize