I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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