Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
