That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
