I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
