Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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