Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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