porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
pray to the hookup gods
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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